THROWBACK: My Story ©2003

My Story

Can’t stop the fight
Must continue the struggle
I was born to fight
My inner strength is too strong
Can’t stop the fight
I’m in too deep
Without the fight
The victory wouldn’t be as nice
The lessons not valued as much
The memories as fond
Can’t stop the fight
I’m too far
I won’t lie down
I won’t let up
Pushing forward
Step by step
Word by word
Pulse by pulse
Can’t stop the fight
It’s running through
My blood to my feet
Out through my lips
And pouring from my fingertips
Born a fighter, destined to win
Victory is mine
Justice will be served
The truth will be heard
The innocent shall be set free
Can’t stop the fight
Right overrules wrong
The guilty shall be punished
And fools shall be discovered
Stumbling back will occur
Tears may fall
And bridges may be ruined
But that won’t stop me
I won’t let it
Giving my all
Showing my light
Rising above
Guided by God
I will always
I will never
I won’t
Can’t stop
-----the fight.



Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

I am never alone

[performed at my first Spoken Word segment in of all places church (St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church on 5/24/2009]

Seems like I’m always crying because I’m alone
Seems like I can never have the one that I want
Just when I thought it would all be better to know who would be my own
That’s when the tears got worse
Because I can’t have him in my own time
Oh God, it hurts so bad
Why’d you have to tell me
I know I asked, but I really didn’t wanna know
Now I know and I can’t have him
I know and I can’t be with him
I know and I can’t check my emotions
I know I can’t live alone
I know I don’t want to be by myself anymore
I know that no other man will do
Everyone around me’s getting married and having kids
And no me because I’m all alolne
God, I’m tired of living on my own
I’m tired of doing it on my own
God why’d you tell me when you knew I couldn’t have him
God why’d you show me when you knew it wasn’t time
God why do I have to deal this and no one else knows
Why can’t you give him the words to tell me from his lips that he know what you showed me
God I can’t do this alone anymore
I’m strong, but I am too weak
God I know what you want me to do
But it’d seem so much easier if I truly had him behind me
God I can’t take it anymore; please take away my emptiness
I can’t be by myself;
I can’t sleep by myself anymore
I know I can’t;
I’m just looking up for you to help me God
I need you;
I need you God to help me grow up and grow out
Because it is your work that I need to be doing
I this now because you haven’t given me my mate
There’s more that you have to change in me
There’s more that I have to LET YOU change in me
To prepare me for the next stage of my life
God if I trusted you to tell me my mate
I have to trust you with my wait
I’m trusting you with my emotions, my steps and my decisions
By giving you total control over my house
I know I’m not what I used to be
But I’m getting to where you need me to be
I know you are here in me
Because the state I’m in now is different than before
I’m living with you God
I know I have to focus on one life
And I’m aligning my life with you to make it one
Through my tears and my weakness
My God, you are my strength
And with time,
Just in time
I know you will give me all that I need and desire
Because with you I am never alone
I am NEVER alone



Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

"I'm beginning to see happiness as a contagious cure."

You Say No Purpose; I Say You Chose Death

Work with me now
While I try to find a way to write this so folk can understand how I feel
The world will continue without me and go on without you
But while we here, why suffer?
Some told me they were a mistake
While others said they had no purpose
And several screamed, "I wish I was never born!"
My logic is you have nothing else to compare your life here on Earth to
I mean seriously, it's not like you've lived on Saturn
Or in another Galaxy where the creatures were dissimilar to Earthlings
And you can't choose another person's life for comparison
Because yall didn't start walking in the same spot
So what makes your statement valid in the sense of "I don't want my life"?
And if in fact you are the one who has this negative thought flow
Let me ask you, are you ready for death?
Are you ready to die a painful, excruciating, unthinkable death?
Are you ready for your body to lose life while your soul watches your friends and family
weep and sob over having lost you?
Apparently causing pain and sorrow is something you want
Then to those who actually have the audacity to love someone like yourself
Who in actuality hates life is a waste of love
If so, then go ahead and die
It's not like we possess technological methods allowing us to communicate with ancient residents of Earth
So who is to say that death is better?
You betta be concerned about life and lively living
So if you are fed up with your life, change it!!
Why suffer when you have control over your actions?
Why stay stuck in being miserable?
Of course you could always...just die

But how can you be certain that death is better?
What if everything you heard about Hell is true?
Because if you end your own life, it's not like you have time to repent real quick
*laughs*
Imagine suffering by yourself
Feeling all life drain from your body
As cold passes over every limb and remains there
Imagine feeling your blood stop flowing
And your mind loses control over your body
Because your mind races over all the failed attempts you had to make a change
Attempts that don't end in you taking your own life
Attempts that you could have been a positive PURPOSE filled presence on Earth
Then your breath shortens to desperate gasps for...oh guess what...LIFE
But then it's too late
As your body is motionless losing life and everything grows dark around you
Then you hear a person from far away
Who is really within inches of your now limp, cold body
Screams of such a deep, piercing agony you hear your name over and over again
Your hearing is going but you can't help but to hear the deep sorrow of this person
As they are shaking and holding your body and you are steadily slipping into darkness
Then you feel the wetness of their tears splash down onto your face
Your voice no longer works because death has taken it away
And your face can no longer express emotions only your heart
Which the person can't even see because
Your dark, blank stare serves as no comfort to this person who is crying over you
But your heart gets so heavy and saddened and it is too late
You took your own life
You took it away by not doing anything
You took it away by willingly choosing your own suicide
And you thought you had no person
But the person holding you screaming your name over and over again
Then screaming for help
Saw your purpose all along
But you just chose death
You saw a suicide death as your purpose
But that person saw more
And it is now too late


Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

I AM only I AM

How would you describe evidence of things that just go right and work?

The solitude and best answer would simply be “success”.

That is what everybody keeps saying my life is. But I don’t see it that way at all. The only thing I do is just live. I know what I don’t want to do, I know what I don’t want to have, I know where I don’t want to be, and I know what I don’t believe in. I have no single thing I want to do, I have a massive collection of things that I want to do and I have no clue about exactly where I am going. I know that I want to do it all and I know who I am.

• I am confident when I know the subject at hand and self-conscious when I am in an environment I never knew, but I am confident in knowing how to engage myself in learning new things.


• I am adventurous in trying all types of activities in a variety of scenarios and I am afraid I’ll embarrass myself by failing horribly making people laugh and stare at me, but I push myself to do it anyway so I’ll know what it feels like to try something new.
  
• I am smart because I know how to apply myself and found the avenues to cultivate my brain, but I don’t know a lot about any one thing and I don’t consider myself intelligent only creative.
• I am slightly arrogant which makes my walk look stank and my persona seem unapproachable when I don’t smile but I’m that way because I’m afraid if I don’t someone will hurt me emotionally or invade my space without an open invitation.
  
• I am attractive with a jaunty flair that pulls visual attention, but I hate when people gawk because it makes me self-conscious and it makes me nervous that something may be wrong with my outfit.
• I am a gadabout who is addicted to traveling for cultural exploration and simply getting away from home but I do it more because there is no one at my home and when I’m not relaxing or mind searching I don’t want to be there.
  
• I am happy with every experience and memory because I don't regret anything that has ever happened to me good or bad, but I do cry when I get overwhelmed with emotions of confusion, loneliness, and sadness; it never solves anything but it makes me feel better.
  
• I am nice because I believe in karma and I want people to be nice to me, but I am not always in the mood to talk to everybody.
• I am talented in a variety of areas and can have my choice in doing any number of careers, but I don't love any of my talents.
  
• I am gifted in writing and designing but I give neither one exclusivity because I am afraid of what might not happen.
  
• I am loving in all types of relationships because I value people, but the lasting love God has buried in my soul longs for my mate.
  
• I am patient, after not being able to rush anything, it has made me start taking my time, but I fear time will not tick in my favor.
  
• I am spiritual in knowing there is an omnipresent Creator and the Bible serves as a great guide for life, but I am not religious.
  
• I am free in spirit, in soul, in life, in nature and in me which people term "deep" but I see it as not having tunnel vision and looking beyond what I can only touch.

I am only looking at who I am; I am not looking at the exceptions to what I am. I always try to jump into me. I am special; I am human; and I am only I am.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Somebody tried to jock my jaunty!!!

My first immediate reaction was a laugh and a verbal “OH HELL NAW!!!” Yall, somebody tried to jock my jaunty. I already tried to tell you that this is a creative genius at work. So when you try to edit my words with the intent that it will “sound better”…it can’t be done. I’ve lived my writings; they are from my soul and life experiences. If you not living it and if you didn’t live it, you can’t describe it the way I can….I’m telling you that you can’t jock my jaunty!!

Okay folks, so here’s the situation. This morning, I decided to google “romance is redundant” because I’m just random like that. I wanted to know what other site or person had my same thought. Lo’ and behol’ I find a site that says “PARADIGM OF PARODIES: PLEASURE, PERIL AND PEACE: ROMANCE IS REDUNDANT”. I’m immediately like what the hell?!?! Somebody likes my work this much and they listed it?! Then I click on the link and see some deformed garbage of what I wrote and I had to laugh with the verbal “OH HELL NAW!!!” Upon my findings, I immediately notified the individual that my words are copyrighted and all the legal jargon. Not only was it my writing, but the person had stolen other people’s writings. So I took it a step further (yes I’m a pusher of the envelope) and notified the original authors of the works that their writings had been distorted into some nonsense. Jokes on you killa!

But the situation is this: “how can you attempt to recreate MY logic, MY life, MY story and you haven’t done anything remotely similar?” Now everyone can definitely relate and understand my logic but nobody can explain it the way that I do. I’m not ego driven; I’m just saying there is power in MY words and you can’t make a replica of the character and individuality that exists in me because we are all dissimilar as a people.

So I’m calling you out. If you gonna do something, do your own style with your own flair. It is dangerous ground when you portray to be something that you are not or have never been. Go out and get your own state of mind and stop TRYING to emulate others.

I’m feeling real Juggernaut-ish right now, “Do you not know who I am???? I’m ACE Jaunty™ *****!!!!” There is no way that you can jock my jaunty!

I'm The Juggernaut, Bitch!
Uploaded by Jax328 - Click for more funny videos.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Romance is Redundant

The title automatically sounds negative, but in reality let’s think about the statement for a minute. Redundant is performing an act unnecessarily repetitively and romance is to court or woo as in the aspect of love. This being the case, when romantic acts are constantly done it is redundant. One does not HAVE to be romantic; one chooses to be romantic with another individual (so we hope…no telling these days). Anyway, some people even hate romance and claim it to be an insane and unnecessary act. Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.” I could never agree that love is insane because it just seems reasonable [sane] to me. If we invert Einstein’s definition we find the definition of sanity to mean “doing different things and expecting the same results.” Almost like taking a different route home everyday but still ending up at home. Romantic acts are never always the same, they are often different [or varied], but once you perform the act(s) you expect the same results which are appreciation from the one you adore and letting your love be known. Both of which are important to any stage of a love relationship. So because romance is redundant, you have to continually do it over and over again.
It keeps love fresh and exciting.
It keeps love growing.
It keeps love strong.
It keeps the love between two persons.
It keeps love from getting boring.
It keeps love fun.
It keeps love.
Growing up, I can remember countless times from my parents telling me things like “How many times do I have to tell you?!” or “I better not have to tell you again or I’m going to get my belt!!!!” It wasn’t that I was being disobedient (okay, maybe sometimes I was) but MOST OFTEN, I did forget that I was supposed to be doing something because I was getting carried away with the things that I wanted to do. I needed those shrilling screams and threats of getting a whooping to remember. Think of romance similarly as that situation. Not the threats and whooping part, but the part of forgetting. Yes, you know you love the person and the other person knows you love him/her but reminders are necessary. Sometimes, we get so busy in life and we forget to tell [or show] the one person we choose to share our life with our love …hence, ROMANCE. If we remember that romance is redundant and actively engage in romantic acts with our significant other, we make love important and refreshing. ♥


Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License