Love and Sleep

Love is plural; it carries much but holds to being all pure.

Sleep controls the resurrection of renewed energy to accomplish the soul's desires.

-A.C.E. Jaunty

goodbye

The style and topics I've written for the past year and a half will take a 180 after this post.

I appreciate your feedback, but some things I have to put a lid on and I cannot get as raw as I want to--it would really scare the good majority of you. And seeing as only one person knows my whole story; I know for a fact yall don't have the stomach or mind to understand or intake all that I am like that person does and continues to do.

Hope you enjoyed it all, but now it's time for me to tell another story these even more tantalizing (and yes I can be even more tantalizing)....

This will still be Jaunty Jots; so stay tuned because I have just had a revelation, an epiphany, an exciting idea, and God's orgasm...happiness!!

Love you alll! Salut!!

"Love is, by far, my best emotion."

-ACE Jaunty

sex CD

Making love to someone else playing our sex CD

I’m with Martin, there’s a thin line babe

But mine is a no contest with love and bullshit

You can’t have it your way

But you betta believe I can be happy my way

I’m playing the only big Joker in the deck

To me there are no other contenders

I’ll vibe with his hands on my booty

Then his hands on my boobies

Cuz it’s sex therapy, lust and romance that this sex CD brings

Crazy calm, got my folk worried I’ma snap

But I’m happier knowing the truth

Then living in your lies

These songs express how I’m supposed to groove

And how I move when I’m in my new man’s hands.

You don’t have to be the one, he makes me feel great

Didn’t even have to practice our rhythm

We got it right on the first act

I just let go and get lost in the scent of sex engulfing the room

His body and his moves goes right along with the words on our sex CD

Making love to another man to our sex CD

Getting fucked by another man to our sex CD

Feenin’ for his body listening to our sex CD

This is all his now, no longer yours

But I still gotta thank you babe for this sex CD

That beat in that track

The harmony of the treble and the base

Brings that feeling

This is what my body needs

Steady beat, on the half steps

He’s taking me there

And I’m going

It doesn’t just make it right

It makes it great

With this sex CD

In the background

It’s only music….

Jaunty Jots by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Just

I love things to be black & white

...even the late "I Love Lucy".

Just doesn't make sense to me

because I can't color well.

And photos...tell me more on the

black-white scale than all the pixels.

Say I don't want you to go

and that's all I should need for you to stay.

Tell me no and mean no.

Then say yes and mean yes.

No loops that repeat over and over

...because loops just go in circles

...no end point or answer.

Many argue about whether black is a color

and many argue whether white is a color

Right now neither matters because I don't want to argue

Pigments and coloring agents just causes confusions

My black and my white are like my north and my south--polar opposites.

The other colors in the middle I don't care about

I tell you I want you and I mean I want you

I tell you I hate gambling and I mean I hate gambling

No reading between the lines

...it's all just black and white.

I make it easy; you don't have to guess.

This is not crayola; I only have two crayons.

Jaunty Jots by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

[throwback] FIGHT

(From the perspective of a 12 year old, written back in 1996 in 5 minutes when I was in the 8th grade for Reading class and forgot that I was supposed to do the assignment the previous night. By chance, I got an A on the assignment and this is officially my first poem that I ever wrote. I thought it was appropriate for today being it Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday.)

Fighting is like a habit

It sticks with you through life.

You fight for the best,

You fight for your rights.

It came from the beginning

When the Indians found the land.

They fought with the white man

To save their precious man.

It will always stick with us

Fighting 'til we die.

To fight for our children,

To fight for our lives.

This evil will never depart

From our innocent little lives.

So we will always:

Fight, fight, fight, fight.

For what we believe in,

And to the day that we die.

Jaunty Jots by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

..intoxicated

so intoxicated...

everything is smooth; it flows...

no bumps, ripples, or turns.

just elevated.

no longer in longer in control.

...breath in deep

so intoxicated...

calm, serene, lazy motions.

relax; let everything go.

cool breeze through the air.

...breath in deep

so intoxicated...

words grow long; body turns limp;

eyelids grow heavy; just laying in feathers;

moves all in slow motion.

...breath in deep and pause

so intoxicated...

blanket my emotions.

exhale the negativity.

eyes grow sultry.

voice drips of passion.

...breath in deep

so intoxicated...

feeling the back and forth rock;

the hum of unheard music;

dreams from a daze;

natural forces take over.

...breath in deep and hold

so intoxicated...

feel all the power leave your body;

just everything growing weak, with no control or fight;

unable to refuse the ultimate take over.

...relax, wait, breath in deep

so intoxicated...

aware of nothing.

cares have no home.

just feeling good,

all -- all over.

words serve as no description.

all I can do:

is breath in deep,

gaze out, and just exhale

as all the tension leaves me;

because I am...

...so intoxicated.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Living on Island Free

This morning I awoke to the ocean breeze on an island that I have named "Island Free".

When I sat up to look out and think about this new day it was so easy, everything seemed so clear. For a moment, I thought it was all wrong and I asked myself, "How did I get here...here to this place of such peace?" Then I realized, it's because I stopped. I stopped expecting people's emotions and actions. When I stopped expecting people to do something that I wanted them to do, it all became easier. You can't disappoint me when I never placed my hope there. Sure I'd like for people's actions and emotions to be the way I desire, but I will still be okay if it doesn't happen that way. And when a person does say something or do something that I like or makes me smile or makes me feel special or makes a decision in my favor, I know that it is a moment...a moment that I will forever own. You cannot hope in people or hope for people; you can only hope to people so as to transfer this intangible force so one will see the simple joy in life-pleasing one's self. So what makes up you? I know what makes up me. This is why I'm so calm. This is why I'm so at peace. This is why I do what I like, do what I want, live my faith and give my way. I'm having fun because in the end, it's just me who stands...just me alone and my hope is within me and that alone makes me so free. This kind of peace becomes so eerie sometimes but its such a great feeling to always lively live on Island Free.

'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'
~by Edna Ellison~

Curse Words

Sometimes I just have to curse. Of course I have a mediocre lexicon that would sanction me to demean a situation intellectually or express my sentiments about a situation in lucid words to show my disdain, but then the person would be bewildered about what exactly I said and would fail to understand my true emotion.

"Live in the moment; that's all you have. The next second will make it [the moment] just a memory."

He rewrites

Now that was mystical…
I was just doing my thing
And when I looked down
God changed my words
I wanted to say it one way
And thought I did
Until I read it again
God said what He wanted to say

I once said all I do is listen; He writes.
But now I see, sometimes...he rewrites it all for me.
Because I don't hear it right to write it right.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

STEP

You see I only understand
chivalry and actions
We talking ‘bout the old school gentleman
That’s what I’m really really after
Words are words that don’t mean shit
My bones may break by sticks and stones
You can say whatever you feel
Or even say what you want

But ya gotta…
Step up, step in
Or step out my life
Cuz yo ways are lame
And just won’t suffice

Yeah, I take care of me
I work hard day and night don’t you see
Cuz I was raised powerful
To be a wife and not some random ass ho
Step yo game up if you coming out to play
And I’m not talking ‘bout paying to play
I need an even stronger man
Who backs his words with his actions

you gotta…
Step up, step in
Or step out my life
Cuz yo ways are lame
And just won’t suffice

I’m a lust life kinda girl
Curious and risky
Each day –
my own adventure
But I love the simple things much more
That’s why I need you to take action
And if you don’t, farewell
I’ll just keep stepping with my life

Step up, step in, or step out
Step up, step in, or step out
Step up, step in, or step out

Step up, step in
Or step out my life
Cuz yo ways are lame
……
And just won’t suffice

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

"I'm a young Monte Carlo, I don't risk the "what if's" so I simulate the possibilities of the positivities."

State of the ACE

Politically Correct for my Daddy

In this world, there is no time for you to waste on nonsense. One must be able to evaluate a situation in order to determine when it does not constitute the energy to engage in an activity. For this very reason, I have perfected nonchalance as an integral part of my aura. My only concern in every moment and in every action is to maintain my state of happiness and alternate the métier that I choose to excel in at the moment. When blended together, I do a great job of achieving them all. In the event, you actually expect me to be moved by your venom filled actions then realize that I am both covered and blessed; your negative vibes do not effect the fact that I am indeed successful anywhere in the Universe.

How I Really Want you to Read it

There's no time for bullshit...that's why it is never that serious...you folks gotta realize that nonchalance really is my steelo...all I'm really concerned about is being in my métier of choice today and maintaining my happiness which I do a damn good job of! If you looking for me to be moved by your actions, think again pimpin! What you try to do to destroy me has no effect on me...it's just fuel to my fire because I have success wherever my presence dwells...just ask my shadow it always follows me...lol

I'm outta here!

Only Speaking Action

Listen I need no formalities, no greetings, no courtesy convo, and no space fillers because of awkward moments. Just give it to me straight and say what you want from the jump. Don't shoot a text with "what's up" and don't make useless calls full of dead air. I am not going to respond at all because I'm done wasting time with the fomarlities. So if you can't come with some realness don't come at all; it would all be useless on your part.


I've known you for too long for the extra stuff. I'm not that random chick from around the way; I'm grown and I'm a lady. Show me what you want from me because it is apparent to me that we don't want the same things. So for you to be sending me messages just to try to keep your face on my mind it is just pointless. I have already made up my mind that there are only two things you can do and these forms of courtesy conversation just ain't the way to get me to talk to you.


Call me selfish, but if you are with her then we have nothing to talk about / Call it my Leo nature, but we as a people would rather give something away then share it. That is why we're so generous at the same time. So if you are truly happy where you are then I have to let you go / Call it my spoiled nature, but I'm the baby girl and I want it my way; that is why I'm Daddy's girl / Call it what ever you like but love is love and that is it.

So you can call me all you like, text me all you want, email me here and there...but there are only two things you can do that will result in actual conversation from me and neither one of those is it. Call it a cliché pimpin' but "actions do speak louder than words" and all I'm speaking now is action.

Haha..yeah action is the only communication that my mind comprehends now because I'm selfish with my speech....

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Peace

"Have peace my friend; you will need it in order to love."

Everywhere but No Where

"This jot is everywhere, but I am no where living lies."

This may very well have been my laziest month I have ever had in my life. What I consider lazy people would actually not be able to make it through one day. But I needed this break. I was on the grind for so long that once I accomplished my goal I realized how weakened and drained I was. I just wanted to breath and take in the feeling of accomplishment. I’ve been going hard for too many years. So what have I been doing…I’ve been letting the rain drown me and my body has bonded with the Earth. As a result, I have so much to write. There has been a lot to ponder. There is a lot that I still cannot even make out in my head so I know I can't even make sense of it on paper. However, I stay with Nature; so that I can stay clear and the ink will show on portrait.

QUESTION

This jot is no poem just some answers and insight for the world. I’m going to address the questions I’ve received from those who read the things that I write. Questions like, “Are you okay? Why do you want people to know what you think? I think you are trying to find yourself.” and a host of other questions that make me perceive the person’s motives as uncertain because they have no clue whether or not I am borderline insane or crazy. But rest at ease…for me to be this deep it scares the average person and they can only label me as insane or needing help. My response: “Don’t read my words to figure out my soul and who I am. I am only I am."

ANSWER

People experience multiple emotions over the course of the day. I truly believe we have emotions that the English language has no word to yet express it.

I write what is in the atmosphere. I write what comes into my space. I build on the emotions that are in the universe. Every jot I write, builds from something my senses catch a hold to that break into my subconscious giving my conscious the drive to sit still and capture. When I first started this blog I said, “I listen and He writes.”

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Conversation About Happiness

This is a conversation that I had with one of my BFFs yesterday...I don't know why she asked me, but she did. Perhaps, you all can get something from it!

Participants:
-------------
pecansurprize, B/
Messages:
---------
B/: Do you believe that happiness comes with age?
www.ACEjaunty.com: No
B/: k
B/: why
www.ACEjaunty.com: I believe happiness is greatest when you're little....many spend the middle of their life looking for it....then when you get old & are about to die, you find happiness again
www.ACEjaunty.com: When actually all along happiness is merely acknowledging to yourself that you are indeed happy
www.ACEjaunty.com: It's a concious act to claim happiness
www.ACEjaunty.com: If you don't claim happiness you will spend the rest of the time counting what you don't have
www.ACEjaunty.com: And that is when life becomes miserable.
www.ACEjaunty.com: You weren't expecting all of that, huh?
B/: Angela I never know what to expect from you.
www.ACEjaunty.com: lol well you asked

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Staff of Silence

I don’t need a beat for my words to live. I’ll flow on the staff of silence breaking through the cords cuz my vocal is enough. I have no lies to tell and no fairy tales of my life. I can’t ever say I had the “normal” life because I have no other comparisons.

I just want to tell my truths. I just want to inspire. I just want to educate. I just want to help focus. I am the same day after day; but day after day changes for me. For you to know my struggle between my spirit and my self would make you wonder why I don’t let my spirit live and just kill my self myself. But eventually my self will be killed and my spirit will live on. Meanwhile, I’ll just flow on the staff of silence.

I was always taught to listen, watch and learn, and don’t say shit. But instead when it counted I didn’t listen, I was the show to watch and I never said shit because that would at least keep a lil bit of attention off me. So now when you don’t see me on the dance floor, I’m facing the door sipping a short glass of Private Stock or Firefly. That’s the only constant between my self and my spirit is my staff of silence. When I do speak—believe me, it is intentional because I’m not in a position where I have to speak to everybody. And most would say I’m bipolar on a given day I may be all smiles and then with my shades on there is a coldness that even a polar bear can’t handle.

I don’t listen, I experience life. Because I didn’t listen I was sick from something I could have avoided. Because I didn’t listen, I have habits I can’t let go of. Because I didn’t listen I still drive when I’m over the limit…speed and spirits. ‘Cause I don’t listen I still do it my way. ‘Cause I didn’t listen I still don’t make use of the barriers. ‘Cause I don’t listen I’ll lose it all and gain more than I ever thought I needed. Cause I didn’t listen I’ll pay for doing the same sins again and again. But I’m just talking over a staff of silence and this will probably just deafen ears and the only ones who’ll hear me will be deaf.

But I’m a functioning story of working through the pain, working through sin, working through the struggle, working through the closed doors, working through the failure, working my way to Heaven….you’ll never hear me say ‘woe is me’ because I don’t weep for longer than a minute. I’m painting my real life and folk still see it as a fairy tale. They even call my career imaginary…haha, friends even nickname me Tommie…

That’s why I’m so deep b/c I don’t say nada…always thinking, always twisting my thoughts on the cerebral rollercoaster just trying to work through…always just vibin’ to the randomness in natural sounds. Silence is good for me; I tend to hold my peace. What you see is not what you get. The best interpretations are through reflections on the staff of silence.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Unleashed

From my actions can you tell that I was in a ruthless state? I’m not living a double life; I’m just letting this animal out unleashed. This is the normal internal struggle that is occurring between spirit and self. Calling this state normal almost feels like an oxymoron. At some second of the day every one of us faces the internal struggle about making a decision. How do you not make the rebellious decision? And if by choice you make that decision then what keeps you from total destruction? These thoughts entered my mind after I made the rebellious decision in that second on last Saturday.

I’m not going to tell you what the action was, I just want you to picture the moment when you allowed that animal out unleashed…that moment when you didn’t want to think about your actions because an event occurred that resulted in a state of mind mixed with hurt and laced with revenge. So do you have that moment in your mind? Okay good, because that’s exactly what I did too! You see in reality we don’t want to face the fact that we are hurt instead we would just rather not think about it because it pains our emotion state. Instead we will mask our emotions by letting the animal out unleashed.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License