Just

I love things to be black & white

...even the late "I Love Lucy".

Just doesn't make sense to me

because I can't color well.

And photos...tell me more on the

black-white scale than all the pixels.

Say I don't want you to go

and that's all I should need for you to stay.

Tell me no and mean no.

Then say yes and mean yes.

No loops that repeat over and over

...because loops just go in circles

...no end point or answer.

Many argue about whether black is a color

and many argue whether white is a color

Right now neither matters because I don't want to argue

Pigments and coloring agents just causes confusions

My black and my white are like my north and my south--polar opposites.

The other colors in the middle I don't care about

I tell you I want you and I mean I want you

I tell you I hate gambling and I mean I hate gambling

No reading between the lines

...it's all just black and white.

I make it easy; you don't have to guess.

This is not crayola; I only have two crayons.

Jaunty Jots by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

[throwback] FIGHT

(From the perspective of a 12 year old, written back in 1996 in 5 minutes when I was in the 8th grade for Reading class and forgot that I was supposed to do the assignment the previous night. By chance, I got an A on the assignment and this is officially my first poem that I ever wrote. I thought it was appropriate for today being it Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday.)

Fighting is like a habit

It sticks with you through life.

You fight for the best,

You fight for your rights.

It came from the beginning

When the Indians found the land.

They fought with the white man

To save their precious man.

It will always stick with us

Fighting 'til we die.

To fight for our children,

To fight for our lives.

This evil will never depart

From our innocent little lives.

So we will always:

Fight, fight, fight, fight.

For what we believe in,

And to the day that we die.

Jaunty Jots by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

..intoxicated

so intoxicated...

everything is smooth; it flows...

no bumps, ripples, or turns.

just elevated.

no longer in longer in control.

...breath in deep

so intoxicated...

calm, serene, lazy motions.

relax; let everything go.

cool breeze through the air.

...breath in deep

so intoxicated...

words grow long; body turns limp;

eyelids grow heavy; just laying in feathers;

moves all in slow motion.

...breath in deep and pause

so intoxicated...

blanket my emotions.

exhale the negativity.

eyes grow sultry.

voice drips of passion.

...breath in deep

so intoxicated...

feeling the back and forth rock;

the hum of unheard music;

dreams from a daze;

natural forces take over.

...breath in deep and hold

so intoxicated...

feel all the power leave your body;

just everything growing weak, with no control or fight;

unable to refuse the ultimate take over.

...relax, wait, breath in deep

so intoxicated...

aware of nothing.

cares have no home.

just feeling good,

all -- all over.

words serve as no description.

all I can do:

is breath in deep,

gaze out, and just exhale

as all the tension leaves me;

because I am...

...so intoxicated.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Living on Island Free

This morning I awoke to the ocean breeze on an island that I have named "Island Free".

When I sat up to look out and think about this new day it was so easy, everything seemed so clear. For a moment, I thought it was all wrong and I asked myself, "How did I get here...here to this place of such peace?" Then I realized, it's because I stopped. I stopped expecting people's emotions and actions. When I stopped expecting people to do something that I wanted them to do, it all became easier. You can't disappoint me when I never placed my hope there. Sure I'd like for people's actions and emotions to be the way I desire, but I will still be okay if it doesn't happen that way. And when a person does say something or do something that I like or makes me smile or makes me feel special or makes a decision in my favor, I know that it is a moment...a moment that I will forever own. You cannot hope in people or hope for people; you can only hope to people so as to transfer this intangible force so one will see the simple joy in life-pleasing one's self. So what makes up you? I know what makes up me. This is why I'm so calm. This is why I'm so at peace. This is why I do what I like, do what I want, live my faith and give my way. I'm having fun because in the end, it's just me who stands...just me alone and my hope is within me and that alone makes me so free. This kind of peace becomes so eerie sometimes but its such a great feeling to always lively live on Island Free.

'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'
~by Edna Ellison~

"Live in the moment; that's all you have. The next second will make it [the moment] just a memory."

STEP

You see I only understand
chivalry and actions
We talking ‘bout the old school gentleman
That’s what I’m really really after
Words are words that don’t mean shit
My bones may break by sticks and stones
You can say whatever you feel
Or even say what you want

But ya gotta…
Step up, step in
Or step out my life
Cuz yo ways are lame
And just won’t suffice

Yeah, I take care of me
I work hard day and night don’t you see
Cuz I was raised powerful
To be a wife and not some random ass ho
Step yo game up if you coming out to play
And I’m not talking ‘bout paying to play
I need an even stronger man
Who backs his words with his actions

you gotta…
Step up, step in
Or step out my life
Cuz yo ways are lame
And just won’t suffice

I’m a lust life kinda girl
Curious and risky
Each day –
my own adventure
But I love the simple things much more
That’s why I need you to take action
And if you don’t, farewell
I’ll just keep stepping with my life

Step up, step in, or step out
Step up, step in, or step out
Step up, step in, or step out

Step up, step in
Or step out my life
Cuz yo ways are lame
……
And just won’t suffice

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

"I'm a young Monte Carlo, I don't risk the "what if's" so I simulate the possibilities of the positivities."

State of the ACE

Politically Correct for my Daddy

In this world, there is no time for you to waste on nonsense. One must be able to evaluate a situation in order to determine when it does not constitute the energy to engage in an activity. For this very reason, I have perfected nonchalance as an integral part of my aura. My only concern in every moment and in every action is to maintain my state of happiness and alternate the métier that I choose to excel in at the moment. When blended together, I do a great job of achieving them all. In the event, you actually expect me to be moved by your venom filled actions then realize that I am both covered and blessed; your negative vibes do not effect the fact that I am indeed successful anywhere in the Universe.

How I Really Want you to Read it

There's no time for bullshit...that's why it is never that serious...you folks gotta realize that nonchalance really is my steelo...all I'm really concerned about is being in my métier of choice today and maintaining my happiness which I do a damn good job of! If you looking for me to be moved by your actions, think again pimpin! What you try to do to destroy me has no effect on me...it's just fuel to my fire because I have success wherever my presence dwells...just ask my shadow it always follows me...lol

I'm outta here!

Conversation About Happiness

This is a conversation that I had with one of my BFFs yesterday...I don't know why she asked me, but she did. Perhaps, you all can get something from it!

Participants:
-------------
pecansurprize, B/
Messages:
---------
B/: Do you believe that happiness comes with age?
www.ACEjaunty.com: No
B/: k
B/: why
www.ACEjaunty.com: I believe happiness is greatest when you're little....many spend the middle of their life looking for it....then when you get old & are about to die, you find happiness again
www.ACEjaunty.com: When actually all along happiness is merely acknowledging to yourself that you are indeed happy
www.ACEjaunty.com: It's a concious act to claim happiness
www.ACEjaunty.com: If you don't claim happiness you will spend the rest of the time counting what you don't have
www.ACEjaunty.com: And that is when life becomes miserable.
www.ACEjaunty.com: You weren't expecting all of that, huh?
B/: Angela I never know what to expect from you.
www.ACEjaunty.com: lol well you asked

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Staff of Silence

I don’t need a beat for my words to live. I’ll flow on the staff of silence breaking through the cords cuz my vocal is enough. I have no lies to tell and no fairy tales of my life. I can’t ever say I had the “normal” life because I have no other comparisons.

I just want to tell my truths. I just want to inspire. I just want to educate. I just want to help focus. I am the same day after day; but day after day changes for me. For you to know my struggle between my spirit and my self would make you wonder why I don’t let my spirit live and just kill my self myself. But eventually my self will be killed and my spirit will live on. Meanwhile, I’ll just flow on the staff of silence.

I was always taught to listen, watch and learn, and don’t say shit. But instead when it counted I didn’t listen, I was the show to watch and I never said shit because that would at least keep a lil bit of attention off me. So now when you don’t see me on the dance floor, I’m facing the door sipping a short glass of Private Stock or Firefly. That’s the only constant between my self and my spirit is my staff of silence. When I do speak—believe me, it is intentional because I’m not in a position where I have to speak to everybody. And most would say I’m bipolar on a given day I may be all smiles and then with my shades on there is a coldness that even a polar bear can’t handle.

I don’t listen, I experience life. Because I didn’t listen I was sick from something I could have avoided. Because I didn’t listen, I have habits I can’t let go of. Because I didn’t listen I still drive when I’m over the limit…speed and spirits. ‘Cause I don’t listen I still do it my way. ‘Cause I didn’t listen I still don’t make use of the barriers. ‘Cause I don’t listen I’ll lose it all and gain more than I ever thought I needed. Cause I didn’t listen I’ll pay for doing the same sins again and again. But I’m just talking over a staff of silence and this will probably just deafen ears and the only ones who’ll hear me will be deaf.

But I’m a functioning story of working through the pain, working through sin, working through the struggle, working through the closed doors, working through the failure, working my way to Heaven….you’ll never hear me say ‘woe is me’ because I don’t weep for longer than a minute. I’m painting my real life and folk still see it as a fairy tale. They even call my career imaginary…haha, friends even nickname me Tommie…

That’s why I’m so deep b/c I don’t say nada…always thinking, always twisting my thoughts on the cerebral rollercoaster just trying to work through…always just vibin’ to the randomness in natural sounds. Silence is good for me; I tend to hold my peace. What you see is not what you get. The best interpretations are through reflections on the staff of silence.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Unleashed

From my actions can you tell that I was in a ruthless state? I’m not living a double life; I’m just letting this animal out unleashed. This is the normal internal struggle that is occurring between spirit and self. Calling this state normal almost feels like an oxymoron. At some second of the day every one of us faces the internal struggle about making a decision. How do you not make the rebellious decision? And if by choice you make that decision then what keeps you from total destruction? These thoughts entered my mind after I made the rebellious decision in that second on last Saturday.

I’m not going to tell you what the action was, I just want you to picture the moment when you allowed that animal out unleashed…that moment when you didn’t want to think about your actions because an event occurred that resulted in a state of mind mixed with hurt and laced with revenge. So do you have that moment in your mind? Okay good, because that’s exactly what I did too! You see in reality we don’t want to face the fact that we are hurt instead we would just rather not think about it because it pains our emotion state. Instead we will mask our emotions by letting the animal out unleashed.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

"A misdirected past is from misdirected paths; redirect your present and you will redirect your presence."

-ACE Jaunty™

THROWBACK: My Story ©2003

My Story

Can’t stop the fight
Must continue the struggle
I was born to fight
My inner strength is too strong
Can’t stop the fight
I’m in too deep
Without the fight
The victory wouldn’t be as nice
The lessons not valued as much
The memories as fond
Can’t stop the fight
I’m too far
I won’t lie down
I won’t let up
Pushing forward
Step by step
Word by word
Pulse by pulse
Can’t stop the fight
It’s running through
My blood to my feet
Out through my lips
And pouring from my fingertips
Born a fighter, destined to win
Victory is mine
Justice will be served
The truth will be heard
The innocent shall be set free
Can’t stop the fight
Right overrules wrong
The guilty shall be punished
And fools shall be discovered
Stumbling back will occur
Tears may fall
And bridges may be ruined
But that won’t stop me
I won’t let it
Giving my all
Showing my light
Rising above
Guided by God
I will always
I will never
I won’t
Can’t stop
-----the fight.



Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

I am never alone

[performed at my first Spoken Word segment in of all places church (St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church on 5/24/2009]

Seems like I’m always crying because I’m alone
Seems like I can never have the one that I want
Just when I thought it would all be better to know who would be my own
That’s when the tears got worse
Because I can’t have him in my own time
Oh God, it hurts so bad
Why’d you have to tell me
I know I asked, but I really didn’t wanna know
Now I know and I can’t have him
I know and I can’t be with him
I know and I can’t check my emotions
I know I can’t live alone
I know I don’t want to be by myself anymore
I know that no other man will do
Everyone around me’s getting married and having kids
And no me because I’m all alolne
God, I’m tired of living on my own
I’m tired of doing it on my own
God why’d you tell me when you knew I couldn’t have him
God why’d you show me when you knew it wasn’t time
God why do I have to deal this and no one else knows
Why can’t you give him the words to tell me from his lips that he know what you showed me
God I can’t do this alone anymore
I’m strong, but I am too weak
God I know what you want me to do
But it’d seem so much easier if I truly had him behind me
God I can’t take it anymore; please take away my emptiness
I can’t be by myself;
I can’t sleep by myself anymore
I know I can’t;
I’m just looking up for you to help me God
I need you;
I need you God to help me grow up and grow out
Because it is your work that I need to be doing
I this now because you haven’t given me my mate
There’s more that you have to change in me
There’s more that I have to LET YOU change in me
To prepare me for the next stage of my life
God if I trusted you to tell me my mate
I have to trust you with my wait
I’m trusting you with my emotions, my steps and my decisions
By giving you total control over my house
I know I’m not what I used to be
But I’m getting to where you need me to be
I know you are here in me
Because the state I’m in now is different than before
I’m living with you God
I know I have to focus on one life
And I’m aligning my life with you to make it one
Through my tears and my weakness
My God, you are my strength
And with time,
Just in time
I know you will give me all that I need and desire
Because with you I am never alone
I am NEVER alone



Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

"I'm beginning to see happiness as a contagious cure."

You Say No Purpose; I Say You Chose Death

Work with me now
While I try to find a way to write this so folk can understand how I feel
The world will continue without me and go on without you
But while we here, why suffer?
Some told me they were a mistake
While others said they had no purpose
And several screamed, "I wish I was never born!"
My logic is you have nothing else to compare your life here on Earth to
I mean seriously, it's not like you've lived on Saturn
Or in another Galaxy where the creatures were dissimilar to Earthlings
And you can't choose another person's life for comparison
Because yall didn't start walking in the same spot
So what makes your statement valid in the sense of "I don't want my life"?
And if in fact you are the one who has this negative thought flow
Let me ask you, are you ready for death?
Are you ready to die a painful, excruciating, unthinkable death?
Are you ready for your body to lose life while your soul watches your friends and family
weep and sob over having lost you?
Apparently causing pain and sorrow is something you want
Then to those who actually have the audacity to love someone like yourself
Who in actuality hates life is a waste of love
If so, then go ahead and die
It's not like we possess technological methods allowing us to communicate with ancient residents of Earth
So who is to say that death is better?
You betta be concerned about life and lively living
So if you are fed up with your life, change it!!
Why suffer when you have control over your actions?
Why stay stuck in being miserable?
Of course you could always...just die

But how can you be certain that death is better?
What if everything you heard about Hell is true?
Because if you end your own life, it's not like you have time to repent real quick
*laughs*
Imagine suffering by yourself
Feeling all life drain from your body
As cold passes over every limb and remains there
Imagine feeling your blood stop flowing
And your mind loses control over your body
Because your mind races over all the failed attempts you had to make a change
Attempts that don't end in you taking your own life
Attempts that you could have been a positive PURPOSE filled presence on Earth
Then your breath shortens to desperate gasps for...oh guess what...LIFE
But then it's too late
As your body is motionless losing life and everything grows dark around you
Then you hear a person from far away
Who is really within inches of your now limp, cold body
Screams of such a deep, piercing agony you hear your name over and over again
Your hearing is going but you can't help but to hear the deep sorrow of this person
As they are shaking and holding your body and you are steadily slipping into darkness
Then you feel the wetness of their tears splash down onto your face
Your voice no longer works because death has taken it away
And your face can no longer express emotions only your heart
Which the person can't even see because
Your dark, blank stare serves as no comfort to this person who is crying over you
But your heart gets so heavy and saddened and it is too late
You took your own life
You took it away by not doing anything
You took it away by willingly choosing your own suicide
And you thought you had no person
But the person holding you screaming your name over and over again
Then screaming for help
Saw your purpose all along
But you just chose death
You saw a suicide death as your purpose
But that person saw more
And it is now too late


Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

I AM only I AM

How would you describe evidence of things that just go right and work?

The solitude and best answer would simply be “success”.

That is what everybody keeps saying my life is. But I don’t see it that way at all. The only thing I do is just live. I know what I don’t want to do, I know what I don’t want to have, I know where I don’t want to be, and I know what I don’t believe in. I have no single thing I want to do, I have a massive collection of things that I want to do and I have no clue about exactly where I am going. I know that I want to do it all and I know who I am.

• I am confident when I know the subject at hand and self-conscious when I am in an environment I never knew, but I am confident in knowing how to engage myself in learning new things.


• I am adventurous in trying all types of activities in a variety of scenarios and I am afraid I’ll embarrass myself by failing horribly making people laugh and stare at me, but I push myself to do it anyway so I’ll know what it feels like to try something new.
  
• I am smart because I know how to apply myself and found the avenues to cultivate my brain, but I don’t know a lot about any one thing and I don’t consider myself intelligent only creative.
• I am slightly arrogant which makes my walk look stank and my persona seem unapproachable when I don’t smile but I’m that way because I’m afraid if I don’t someone will hurt me emotionally or invade my space without an open invitation.
  
• I am attractive with a jaunty flair that pulls visual attention, but I hate when people gawk because it makes me self-conscious and it makes me nervous that something may be wrong with my outfit.
• I am a gadabout who is addicted to traveling for cultural exploration and simply getting away from home but I do it more because there is no one at my home and when I’m not relaxing or mind searching I don’t want to be there.
  
• I am happy with every experience and memory because I don't regret anything that has ever happened to me good or bad, but I do cry when I get overwhelmed with emotions of confusion, loneliness, and sadness; it never solves anything but it makes me feel better.
  
• I am nice because I believe in karma and I want people to be nice to me, but I am not always in the mood to talk to everybody.
• I am talented in a variety of areas and can have my choice in doing any number of careers, but I don't love any of my talents.
  
• I am gifted in writing and designing but I give neither one exclusivity because I am afraid of what might not happen.
  
• I am loving in all types of relationships because I value people, but the lasting love God has buried in my soul longs for my mate.
  
• I am patient, after not being able to rush anything, it has made me start taking my time, but I fear time will not tick in my favor.
  
• I am spiritual in knowing there is an omnipresent Creator and the Bible serves as a great guide for life, but I am not religious.
  
• I am free in spirit, in soul, in life, in nature and in me which people term "deep" but I see it as not having tunnel vision and looking beyond what I can only touch.

I am only looking at who I am; I am not looking at the exceptions to what I am. I always try to jump into me. I am special; I am human; and I am only I am.

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

What's your Goal Priority?

After I saw my uncle doing a wild jig that resulted in him throwing spirit fingers in the air over his head while jerking his head to and forth and alternatively lifting his legs similar to a leg raise exercise, I am positively without a shadow of a doubt know he called this dancing because he was all smiles and working up a tremendous sweat. Because of that dance, I cannot listen to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” without doubling over and laughing until tears come because after 2 months the image of my uncle is still so clear in my head. But now, oh now, I have to steal a line that is no laughing matter…”if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.” Are you really gonna let it get that far that the past tense on this line becomes fruition? I gotta tell ya, definitions can help clear up a great deal of confusion. Patience is a virtue, BUT if you snooze…you can actually lose.

You see I totally understand working towards goals…personal, life, career, etc. But if you want to include someone else in any phase of any of these goals then at some point it is important to let that someone know the plan and the layout of goal priority. It’s only fair that these things get discussed. This way at least the two of you can align goal priority and it is not just one sided.

Let’s talk about GOAL PRIORITY because I believe in lasting love.


Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Behind the Wheel

Take the driver's seat

You don't need to ride shotgun anymore

Make you experience life firsthand
Often it is when you break acceptance standards and find yourself as the exception
That you find life in yourself that makes living life come alive
Our culture has widened the gray area between right and wrong
To call it politics but I like to call variance of cultural acceptance
It all makes him appear weird and wired
Made her reticent about her thoughts because of her profound perspective
Forget the area and keep the bold line separating
Right and wrong translating it to good and evil
Eyesight or not; you can see that the concept is universal
We are good with being the exception
Because we flew by your acceptance standards
And it saved us
Because our actions are fueled from within our soul

Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

In the meantime...

I'm in the "meantime" ...she told me that's a good place to be...she told me to do what all I want to do now....am I done with all my playing around?.....have I traveled enough?....have I cared less for being careful?.....have I explored all the dungeons and broken the chains yet?....guess. I should be working on my table portions...I gotta bring something there....need more than my ovaries and vagina....need more than my two degrees of separation sitting like napkins....gotta bring some offering to set on my plate....gotta set up my shit too....evenly yolked....not awkwardly skewed.....time to rise to the match....


Paradigm of Parodies: Paradise, Peril, and Peace by ACE Jaunty is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.